Losing My Religion

"I have long withstood your grace,
long provoked you to your face..."
Caedmon's Call, "Only Hope"


Sometimes guidance comes in threes. I was driving from Dallas to Tulsa a few days ago, listening to a sermon from Ravi Zacharias on my smart phone, and he talked about the importance of writing down your life's goal. I can't remember where the second message came from, but the third came the next morning, as I heard our pastor Ricky's sermon that I'd missed on Sunday. I was sitting at home in our office with my trusty bowl of morning cereal. Ricky, too, mentioned something about writing down your life goals. So, I took the hint, and set out yesterday to write down my life's goal on paper.

Have you ever tried this? It's crazy hard. "What is your whole life about? And...go!"

I decided to do some research, because this sounded like a big undertaking. I jumped on biblegateway.com to look up Bible passages with the word "goal" in them. That sounds like a smart approach, right? Along the path of my internet wandering, I stumbled upon an essay by Tim Keller, pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. It's called "The Centrality of the Gospel", and it helped me a lot. I like what Tim Keller puts out there. I've read one of his books (Counterfeit Gods) and I joined his church's actors' group when we lived in NYC, and saw him preach once.

Here's the article, if you want to read it: http://www.redeemer2.com/resources/papers/centrality.pdf

It really got me thinking, and helped unstick me more from a problem I've been stuck to for a long time: religion.

Don't worry, I'm not leaving the church! I just think I'm learning, slowly and gradually, more about what authentic faith in Jesus really looks like.

In the article, Keller divides people into three groups:

-Religious/Moralist
-Irreligious/Relativist
-Christians

He says that, at their root, moralism and relativism share the same pursuit. In both cases, you are trying to stay in control of your life and avoid Jesus as Savior. He quotes Flannery O'Connor as saying that religious people think "that the way to avoid Jesus [is] to avoid sin".

Keller says, "The irreligious person rejects Jesus entirely, but the religious person only uses Jesus as an example and helper and teacher--but not as a Savior." That made a lot of sense to me. In Bible study two days ago, we drew a line in our books. On the left side of the line we wrote, "Savior," in the middle of the line we wrote, "Example," and on the right side of the line, we wrote, "Bridegroom". This was supposed to be like a timeline for our relationship with Jesus. Our leader, Stephanie, asked us, "Have you ever tried to make Jesus your example before seeing Him as your Savior?" Yes, I have! And it sure is exhausting and hopeless. Never works. You end up feeling like Atlas, getting stuck holding the world on your back.

I'm realizing more and more that I'm just not good enough to be religious; I need a savior too badly! I've tried to be good, and I just don't make the cut.

I like what the article says about Christians: "Christians come to see that both their sins and their best deeds have all really been ways of avoiding Jesus as savior. They come to see that Christianity is not fundamentally an invitation to get more religious....To 'get the gospel' is to turn from self-justification and rely on Jesus' record for a relationship with God." Awesome. So there is hope for someone like me!

Okay, time for a prayer: Man, I don't even want to live the right way without you, Jesus. Can you help me to want to live like a Christian? And then help me to actually do it? I know I'll mess up a lot, but that's what you died for, right? Thanks for loving me so much!


Preach it, Mr. Keller. Live it, Elizabeth.

Thank you, Jesus!