Dear friends who've been hurt by a Christian,

I've tried to be less "social" on social media lately, and online in general. I've wanted to go back to living a more private private life. But something's been on my mind and heart and soul lately and I want to share it because maybe it could help someone.

I wanted to share that, although I have been a Christian my whole life, and one who has never walked away from those beliefs, I have been dealing for a long time with hurt I experienced in the Church. I have friends I care deeply about who have walked away from the whole thing because of experiences like that, and I guess I just want to share a hint of my own story to let you know that I get what it's like to feel deeply shaken and confused.

There's pain that's stayed with me for years and years, shaping my self-image and the way I go through life. But only recently, after listening to The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast series and another podcast, and after reading a big chunk of the book Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse, and after talking to someone who had an outside perspective on my situation, was I finally able to call a spade a spade. 

I had known for years, decades, that I had been deeply hurt. I had known that this hurt had affected me and was hard to shake. I had walked through the process of forgiveness even, but I was still very confused. But somehow, hearing my own story in the stories of other people, the confusion finally started to lift as I was able to say, "What they did was wrong." Those five words took me over half my life to say. And I think God may have used them to set me free.

Free from thinking I must have brought this on myself.

Free from thinking that I am unable to accurately perceive reality.

Free from believing that a person, no matter how charismatic, could be as perfect and wise as God, or stand in his place.

Free to believe God asks me to confess sin in order to pardon and heal me, not crush me.

I am intentionally staying away from details and context here. But this post has been on my mind, and I thought that being able to get these words out to other people who have been hurt was more important than staying private.

Here I may be too bold. But I would encourage you, friend: Please try to seek out the difference between people and God. Please don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. There is One perfect one and he is also perfect love and he is "close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18). He is gentle and kind. As a friend of mine said, "He is sweet." 

He cares. 

He cares. 

No, he really cares.

Wishing you peace, 

Elizabeth