Why It's Scary to Write This Blog.


Creation is an act of courage. And here's why:

I want you to like my blog. I try so hard to please you, putting words together in a clever way, hoping that you will like me for my written art, hoping that you will think I'm some kind of expert on things, that I have some sort of special gifting or insight.

There's a whole colorful world inside me that just wants to burst forth light like a supernova, but then there's also a black hole inside me, freakishly afraid of being judged and rejected--or worse, ignored--and sucking in any approval it can find from other people, eventually swallowing them and everything else in the world around me whole.

Do you get where I'm coming from? I'm learning a different, much better way, learning to write this blog as a gift to the world, but I still know the tension every one of us faces:

We want to be known AND we want to be loved.
We want to take risks AND we want to be safe.
We want our voice to hit the world with an impact AND we want everyone to like us a lot.

Our deepest desires seem diametrically opposed. And so we settle.

We are "loved" but unknown OR we are known but judged/unloved.
We take risks and get into danger OR we play it safe and slowly die.
We kill our voice and get approval--but only approval of a character we are playing, not of ourself OR we speak up and find that we are rejected.

And then, because we are not getting what we want...

We withhold love.
We avoid really knowing others.
We put others in danger.
We encourage fear.
We silence others.
We reject others (because that makes me better than, special, right?).

The world started to make a lot more sense when our dear friends, Neil and Carol explained to my husband and me a simple but profound truth:

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.

And the only place to truly stop the mad cycle of being-hurt-so-hurting-so-being-hurt-so-hurting is with Jesus. He is the only one who...

Knows you completely and loves you completely.
Makes your life a part of the grand adventure but always gives you a place of sanctuary with him.
Restores to you your true voice and loves you no matter what you do.

***************************************

Do you know this love? I don't mean to be all preachy, but I think Moulin Rouge (originally Eden Ahbez in the song "Nature Boy") had it right:

"The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

And the Bible says that God is love (1 John 4:8), so at the risk of sounding preachy and losing your interest in my blog, I want to tell you the truth that I know about Love (God):

God created the world and all people--you and me. He made things beautiful and perfect, and there was no pain or death or unlove. Humans rebelled against God's beautiful, perfect way of love and the world got really messed up. Because God is perfect--nothing in him is bad or flawed--our bad choices separated us from him, and brought us death. God would not give up the beauty of perfection, but he also loved us too much to leave us alone in our mess. He sent his son, Jesus, to earth to live as a human, to teach people on earth about his beautiful, perfect ways, and to live a beautiful, perfect life--the way we were meant to live.

Then, in the ultimate sacrifice of love, perfect, beautiful Jesus was voluntarily executed in a horrible, ugly way, taking the punishment of our sins (bad choices and desires). He then came back to life three days later and visited his people, and then went back to heaven to be with his father again. The Bible says this in John 3:16:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."


So, here's my encouragement: Believe in Love (God). It's worth it. It will not make your life here on earth perfect--that comes later--but it will be worth it. Because the opposite is also true:

LOVED PEOPLE LOVE PEOPLE.



And all you need is love.



Comments

  1. Wow Elizabeth. Just wow. I love this post. And you are in fact very insightful. Making a difference. A words connoisseur. Thanks for being committed to writing and openly sharing your thoughts and feelings. They're a gift.

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