I don't feel like writing this blog post.

I just don't feel inspired right now. In fact, I have spent most of my day at a desk in an office, making sure the details are right correct on a stack of papers. I spent most of the day silent, doing work that, while quietly satisfying, would surely not inspire you, my blog readers. I don't think I have much to say right now.

Which confirms the fact that this blog post should be about commitment after all. I have committed to writing this blog every week whether I feel like it or not. I want to become that kind of artist--the kind that has truly honed her craft. So, here I am. Keep reading.

When I was in New York, trying to make it as an actress, I tried to live on inspiration. I had a dream (and the Big Apple is a city filled with the most dedicated of dreamers). My philosophy was this: To keep my dreams alive, I needed to keep doing what made me passionate. Chase my passion!

Create!
Live!
Be!

The problem with this approach is that trying to live by continually following passion is about as profitable as trying to make your home on a cloud. It looks magical, it looks puffy and soft and inviting, and oh-so-fun to frolic in. But the minute you stretch out your foot and try to test out the softness of a cloud with your toe, the cloud gives way. And so, in your frustration and dismay, you look for the next shiny, dew-dropped cloud to step on, and it, too, gives way the minute you think you've got a toe hold.

I am tired of being passionate.

Scratch that. I am tired of trying to make a living off of passion. I think maybe a dream, a vision, is a wonderful thing if used properly--as a blueprint. A vision shows you how and why to build. But imagine trying to move yourself and your family onto a blueprint instead of into a house. Do you see what I mean? A blue print is absolutely essential, but to confuse it with the building materials--with beams of steel and jackhammers and concrete and levels--would be folly. We dreamers need to remember that the things we call mundane and (ugh) practical are just as essential as our dreams.

I am hereby embracing the mundane!

A couple of quotes come to mind here. One has to do with setting your dreams in the clouds, but building the tower under that cloud to make your dreams come true. The other quote I have in mind is linked to a memory I have.

In Manhattan, on 31st Street and 6th Avenue, is the office of Central Casting New York. Central Casting is the agency that enabled me to do some background acting work on shows like Law & Order. One day in 2009, after I had completed registration with Central Casting, I went down to the sidewalk and around the corner to Starbucks.

I ordered my drink and perched myself on one of the bar stools by the window. That part of 6th Avenue is definitely not full of glitz and glamour, but people watching is always worthwhile in Manhattan. I picked my choice wooden bar stool, and tried to look chic. Then I noticed that there was a quote printed on the side of my cup, so I pulled down the cardboard sleeve and read it. I know it might seem a little lame to drink inspiration from the side of a paper cup, but these words challenged me.



"The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
-Anne Morris, Starbucks #76, The Way I See It



If I seem a little more boring these days, it's only because my head is down over the hammer, and I am concentrated on pounding nails.