A Love Letter

"It seems too easy to call you Savior,
not close enough to call you God,
so as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion...
I want to fall in love with you."
-Jars of Clay, "Love Song for a Savior"


Oh, Lord,

You are better than anything else I know.

After play rehearsal, I will go out into the cold, on the walkway where the yellowy-golden light is shining to light my way out, and I'll look up. Up to the darkness where much better lights are shining.

"Orion, there you are," I say softly to the constellation as if to a faithful old friend who knows me better than the people around me. And Orion is a gift to all of us from you, Lord.

"When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
You made them rulers over the works of your hands;
you put everything under their feet..."

-Psalm 8:3-6, The Bible


I watch a movie that aims at love and truth, but misses. For all its downfalls, it is beautiful in a way to watch this aiming, beautiful to see and feel the stirring of something deeper in my heart, that longing we all silently feel like an ocean about to roll over us, that longing for truth and love and beauty, the bohemian ideals, that longing for you.

I finish the movie and just know I have to talk to you. That movie has stirred up my desperate need for you, the realization yet again that, without you as its shore to tame it, without a God who can walk on the water and calm the storm with a command, my heart would be too much for me, and would flood the whole world of my existence.

"This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything."

-John 3:19-20, The Bible

How comforting to know that my Daddy-God is the ONE being who knows how to handle my heart, that the man-God who stood up and told the ocean storm to stop raging is the same best friend-God who knows all my secret longings and has chosen to take up residence within the sea of my heart. Even I don't know how to handle myself in the sea of my heart without you there. But I think you are teaching me to be a mermaid, like I wanted to be when I was a kid.



I love how you are a King whose kingdom is meant for those who realize that they are just little kids and can't really handle life after all.

"People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."

-Mark 10:13-16, The Bible



Jesus, I am yours. You are my brother in the trenches, my lover, my husband, my bosom buddy, the object of my worship, the artist who sculpted me, the father who's got me and knows what to do.

"The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms."

-Deuteronomy 33:27, The Bible


I love you.


YOURS,

Elizabeth