The Down-and-Upside of Being a Nomad

I like to think of myself as having a nomadic heart.  I can see myself as part of a "band of gypsies" going down the highway.

In the last eight years, Chris and I have lived in Dallas, China, New York City, Tulsa, and now Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  We arrived in Tuscaloosa a week ago, and we've been setting up our apartment, trying to make a home in a strange new land.  I even painted, which is a big thing for me.

But there is a downside to all of this moving around, and in the last week, it's manifested as snippiness with Chris.  I get snippy because I'm afraid.

I heard at some point in time that humans interpret change as loss, and for me, that looks like losing a sense of control over my environment.  I don't know where everything is, we didn't have internet on our computer for about five days, which threw us both off, we don't know this city.

Also, it's a loss of control over the social environment.  We know very few people here, and so that sense of safety that comes with having deep relationships close by is all but gone.  And I had started putting down some real social roots in Tulsa, which were just uprooted.

Maybe that loss of control over my environment is why I had a dream today about not being able to control the break in my car, and hitting the truck in front of me?  Why my former Starbucks coworker, Sarah B., was the one in the car, I do not know...

But there is an upside to losing control: It shows me that I am dependent.

And there is an upside to fear: It invites me to trust instead.

In the Bible, in 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says that the Lord told him, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Then Paul says that, because of this, he is going to actually boast about his weaknesses.

So, taking a step to believe that God's grace and power are enough to cover me here, I think I'll try taking Paul's crazy example of weakness-boasting:


I, Elizabeth, boast that...

1. I am scared because I don't know everything about what is coming up and I could fail.
2. I don't know the future, or where my path is taking me.
3. I am new here, and may be a bit awkward because of that.


Hey!  I got a new idea.  What if I turn those weaknesses on their heads?

1b.  I am excited that I am going to new places and beyond my current abilities.
2b.  I am excited that I am on a path that is beyond my comprehension and out of my hands--better than the path I could make for myself.
3b.  I am excited that my awkwardness could make me more real to other people, and invite them to share more of themselves, awkwardness and all.


There are more weaknesses to boast about, but, hey, some things don't need to be published on a blog for all the world to see!

Suffice it to say that I am trying to learn to embrace my weaknesses.  Recently, my friend Mary Beth talked about a quote that inspired her.  It was about running into our fears, instead of away from them.

So I say,

"Hello, new place!  Hello, new school!  I embrace you."



Now, hopefully I just avoid freaking anyone out...