10 Lessons From This Year...Or Just 1.

A memory from this year: Riverside Park, Tulsa

"I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street..."
-Five for Fighting, "Superman"




This week was my birthday, and it's becoming kind of a tradition for me to write a "what I've learned" post each year on November 20.

But I've sat down to the computer, and realized that I am not inspired to make a list this time around of things I now know, or know more deeply.  I just haven't had that much time lately to sit and reflect, hence this birthday post coming at you four days late.

I sat in church this morning and read the two quotes printed on the front of the bulletin.  The second was this:

"My hosanna has passed through the purgatory of doubt."  -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I was thinking during the service about how I feel lately like dirt being plowed up, some of my more persistent soul weeds being pulled out by the roots.  It seems that lately, life has been about the business of humbling me and showing me what I don't know yet, where I need to grow.  I am ground up soil where flowers-to-be are being planted.

I remember seeing some profiles of influential people in a magazine a few years ago.  At the top of each mini-biography was the person's name and a subtitle to describe their contributions to society.  Under one man's first and last name was a single word: "Imperfectionist".  I liked that.

Okay, it's come to me.

I have decided on one lesson I want to share with you from this past year:

Perfectionism is not my friend, but my enemy.  Borrowing an idea from Rory Noland's book The Heart of the Artist, I am now committed to excellence, doing the best I can with what I have, and to rejecting the seduction of perfectionism.

To reach for perfection is demoralizing.  It has caused me to talk to myself in a way I would be ashamed to talk to anyone else, and it has kept me from the freedom of expression I have longed and fought for as an artist.  I thought that if I reached for the moon of perfection, I would land among the stars of excellence.  But I've also come away with a damaged spaceship.  I have sometimes operated as though I'm either perfect or I'm a zero.  Not too much fun, I can tell you.

Have I given up on wanting things to be perfect one day?  No.  But I am realizing that, for some reason, in his strange providence, God has decided to let me grow day by day, and not *poof!* become perfect all at once.  And if the perfect God is okay letting the process take time and letting things be messy, then I want to be okay with that, too.  And I want to be kind to myself, give myself the same grace He gives me as I stumble toward glory.

So, there, I've kept my tradition.  I've shared a lesson.  And, just for a little fun, here are some little glimpses of the last 12 months.



I dedicate this pictoral homage to all you imperfectionists out there.

Santa was on our plane last Christmas!

Our Home for Most of The Past Year

Seth Cleaning Behind the Bar

My Super Cool Husband, Chris
At Subway after a Turkey Mountain Hike

Family Time Last Christmas on the Oregon Coast

Natural Falls State Park, Oklahoma

Empty Lot, Tulsa

Hangin' Out with Mary Beth

Cupcake Making with My Niece

Stylish Aunt Izzy Multi-tasking

Last Week Barring at the Bux

Magnolia Cafe, Austin

Showing Mary Beth Austin
Check out her blog: annapolisandcompany.com

Farewell Tulsa Lunch
with Tamara, Cody, and Cathy 

Hello Tuscaloosa!
Sarah helped us paint the new digs.

Mr. Chen's (market and restaurant) in Tuscaloosa
is like a portal back to China.

Our Big News